


Rooftops

by JaceRMontague



Series: 30k in 30 days [21]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Depression, F/F, a tiny bit angsty, but fluffy? i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8653048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaceRMontague/pseuds/JaceRMontague
Summary: Regina wakes up in the early hours only to find her girlfriend isn't in the bed beside her.





	

Regina rolled over, reaching out for her girlfriend in her sleep. Somewhere subconsciously it registered that the other side of the bed was empty, Regina woke groggily and took in her surroundings, not that was much to take in - it was still pitch black outside. Regina’s hand remained on the other side of the bed and realised that that side of the bed was cold; Emma must have vacated it long ago. Regina rolled back over to check the time on her phone. 3:43. She groaned, stretched and rolled out of bed. Regina pulled her robe around herself, tying it tightly before leaving the room.

She walked slowly, checking each room of the apartment as she passed them, each was empty which only really left two places; their balcony, sitting by their pool or the railings of their private roof. If Emma wasn’t there it would mean she’d actually left the building and had gone for a walk around Manhattan. Regina hated when Emma did this but the blonde had done it often enough that Regina had become accustomed to this. However, when Emma went for her late night walks she usually left a note. Or a text. Or something. And Regina hadn’t found anything of the like and so she continued her search, walking along the floor to ceiling glass wall that divided their lounge from the balcony. She didn’t see the blonde she was searching for and so she walked to the heavy door that led up to the expansive roof they owned.

She, and Emma, loved the roof. The two of them loved looking out over the bright Manhattan streets, watching New York as it never slept. From where they were they could see the lights of Broadway and times square. Regina loved the way living in the city contrasted with her childhood in the countryside. Whereas Emma loved the fact that although she had somehow, through some form of luck or mercy or something, managed to stay in New York for her entire life; bouncing between group homes and foster families within the state, the place was completely different now that she was an adult. Now, the city screamed freedom and life but until she was nineteen it had been a giant cage, she couldn’t leave without being tracked down. 

Regina looked around the rooftop, walking quietly and slowly as if not to scare Emma. Regina was about to give up when she heard the scratching of a pen against paper and knew that Emma was up here somewhere. She followed the noise and found Emma sitting on the ground between the railings that were keeping her this side of the roof and one of the sun loungers they had brought up there a few months ago, when summer was in full swing.

‘Em?’ Regina asked softly as she sat on the ground beside Emma, shivering slightly at the cold.  
  
‘hm?’ Emma responded, tapping a pen against the cover of the notebook she had been writing in. She’d closed it as soon as she realised that Regina was heading her way.

‘How long have you been up here?’

‘What time is it now?’

‘Probably about four by now.’

‘A few hours. Five maybe?’ Emma second guessed herself, not actually sure if it was eleven or twelve when she’d climbed up to the roof.

  
‘Are you okay?’  
  
Emma thought about it for a second. She knew she wasn’t okay. And she knew that she’d promised Regina that she would always tell her when she felt bad. But she didn’t want to burden Regina with more of her problems. The seasons had changed and the nights were darker for longer and Emma ad had a bad month instead of just a bad day or week like normal.

Regina knew that Emma was struggling, the silence of her lover trying to think about her answer only confirmed this. She moved closer to the blonde and placed her arm around the blonde’s waist, finding rest against Emma’s hip bone.

‘What’s going on?’  Regina asked softly.

Emma could only shrug. She didn’t really know herself. Her only guess was that as the weather took a turn for the worse, so did her brain. She hated when she couldn’t find what was triggering the sadness, it only stressed her out further.

‘that’s okay.’ Regina said, her voice still gentle as she felt Emma’s head fall against her shoulder. She tried a slightly different tactic. ‘What were you writing?’

‘Garbage. I don’t even know. It was just happening. I wasn’t thinking about it, just watching the city.’ Emma admitted.

‘Anything interesting going on down there?’

‘Nothing new. Though that couple from the second floor only got home five minutes ago,’ Emma replied, remembering how the couple, slightly older than herself and Regina, had returned to the building laughing and joking and she had wished that she was able to do that. She could. With Regina. She often did. When her head wasn’t telling her that everything was bad. But sometimes even then – Regina had become good and figuring out what was going on with Emma and knew how to get her out the house and make her laugh. Most times though, she didn’t even need to drag Emma out of the house. She would wrap the blonde in her arms and whisper to her and talk to her and that would be enough. Emma didn’t know if Regina knew how much she helped. Emma hoped she did.

That night though, Emma hadn’t had the heart to wake Regina up and so she had disappeared to the roof.

Regina didn’t ask anything else, she knew that Emma would talk to her eventually. Maybe not then, maybe not for a while but she would.

After twenty minutes though, Emma spoke up, her voice being carried by the autumn wind.

‘It feels like, I don’t know, my chest. It feels like there’s something there. And not there. It’s weird it feels kind of empty but it feels like there’s something heavy on it. It hurts to breathe. When I think – when I think my chest starts aching. That’s it. It’s an ache. But it’s not? I don’t know. But when I was watching the city it didn’t hurt. I wasn’t thinking.”  


“And now you’re thinking?”

“You know when you’re on a big-ass rollercoaster and you go down a drop and you get butterflies in your stomach? And your heart drops and you dont think it'll go back?’

Regina laughed ever so softly at the description she was being given.

“yeah?”

“It’s like that. But in my chest. But now you’re here it’s less. When I was on my own, when I wasn’t looking at the city or writing. It was like that really bad.’

‘is that why you came up here?’

Emma nodded against Regina’s shoulder.

“I needed to stop thinking and you were sleeping and looked peaceful.”

“You can always wake me, Em.”

Emma nodded against Regina’s shoulder once more.

“I know,” Emma breathed out “Thank you.”

She moved her head from Regina’s shoulder and looked at the brunette who was by her side. Always by her side. She noticed how cold Regina was, the brunette shivering ever so slightly.

“Let’s go inside.” Emma whispered.

“Are you sure? We can stay and watch the city if you want.”

Emma shook her head.

“Let’s go in, I want hot chocolate.” She said hopefully, pressing a kiss to Regina's cheek – Regina made the best hot chocolate Emma had ever tasted.

Regina laughed and stood up, offering her hand to Emma.

“I’ll make you hot chocolate.” Regina said.  
  
Emma gathered her notebook and pen and took Regina’s hand and followed the brunette across the rooftop and back down the stairs to their apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope every one had a good thanksgiving yesterday and if you're not American i hope you all had a good thursday. I hope you all had good days today.


End file.
